autorretrato (self-portrait)
by Angélica Rahe
Ancestros
Volando, volando, volando, volando voy… Volando, volando, volando, volando voy
No sé hasta dónde llegaré… Volando, volando, volando, volando voy
Vengo con las curvas de mi madre, la guitarra de mi padre
Es que lo llevo en la sangre, sólo pido que mis ancestros me guarden
Mientras vaya por la tierra con esta alma gitana marinera
Es que lo llevo en la sangre, sólo pido que mis ancestros me guarden
Volando, volando, volando, volando voy… Volando, volando, volando, volando voy
No sé hasta dónde llegaré… Volando, volando, volando, volando voy
Voy caminando a mi manera, como mi abuela, yeah yeah yeah
Con un ritmo en mi cuerpo, como mi abuelo, yeah yeah yeah
Donde me lleve el camino, los llevo conmigo, yeah yeah yeah
Sé que ahora a mí me toca, pero nunca estaré sola
Que así vengo yo
Volando, volando, volando, volando voy… Volando, volando, volando, volando voy
No sé hasta dónde llegaré… Volando, volando, volando, volando voy
Sólo pido que mis ancestros me guarden
Que así vengo yo
1. Ancestors
I go flying I go flying I go flying… I go flying I go flying I go flying
I don’t know where I’ll end up… I go flying I go flying I go flying
I come with my mother’s curves, my father’s guitar
See, I carry it in my blood, I just ask that my ancestors watch over me
While I make my way on this earth, with this Gypsy, sailor soul
See, I carry it in my blood, I just ask that my ancestors watch over me
I go flying I go flying I go flying… I go flying I go flying I go flying
I don’t know where I’ll end up… I go flying I go flying I go flying
I’m walking in my own way, like my grandmother, yeah yeah yeah
With this rhythm in my body, like my grandfather, yeah yeah yeah
Wherever this path may lead, I bring them with me, yeah yeah yeah
I know now it’s my turn, but I’ll never be alone
Cause this is how I come
I go flying I go flying I go flying… I go flying I go flying I go flying
I don’t know where I’ll end up… I go flying I go flying I go flying
I just ask that my ancestors watch over me, cause this is how I come
2. Soy Una Obra De Arte
¿Cuándo te darás cuenta que no soy tan simple?
Sabes que yo no quepo en ese cajón
Tengo infinitas partes, cientas capas, mil colores baby
No me haré pequeña pa’ darte la razón
(Mírame bien)
Soy una obra de arte
Más que hueso y piel, más que una imagen
(¿Qué es lo que ves?)
No puedes moldearme, no
Yo tengo demasiadas dimensiones
¿Cuándo te darás cuenta que no soy tan simple?
Sabes que yo no quepo en ese cajón
Mi estilo es inimitable
Aunque me ames o me odies, yeah yeah
No negaré mi esencia pa’ probar mi valor
(Mírame bien)
Soy una obra de arte
Más que hueso y piel, más que una imagen
(¿Qué es lo que ves?)
No puedes moldearme, no
Yo tengo demasiadas dimensiones
Mírame bien, fíjate bien
¿Qué es lo que ves?
Soy más que hueso y piel
Ese viejo papel, ya lo dejé
Que yo no soy pared - yo soy obra de arte
Tengo demasiado ritmo pa tu algoritmo
Ya estoy demasiado grande pa pedir permiso
Tengo ganas tengo barras y algo que decir, whoa
Dios no me dio esta voz para que me calle chico
No me llames tu bebé, que soy demasiada mujer
No me digas que elija una parte de mi ser
Voy a ocupar todo mi espacio, vete acostumbrando
No todo cabe dentro de tu cuadro, yeah
3. No Me Vale
Hoy quiero
Dejar el pasado en el pasado, parar de mirar hacia atrás
Que estoy tan cansada de cargar todo lo
Que ya no me vale na’ na’, ya no me vale, no me vale nada
Sigo con los restos de las batallas que perdí
Se siente impossible correr con tanto peso encima
Y dejar el pasado en el pasado, parar de mirar hacia atrás
Que estoy tan cansada de cargar todo lo
Que ya no me vale na’ na’, ya no me vale, no me vale nada
Ya no me vale nada, no me vale, no me vale na’
Fui lo que fui
Aunque no puedo repetir, puedo seguir…
Volver de nuevo a mí
Y dejar el pasado en el pasado, parar de mirar hacia atrás
Que ya ‘toy tan cansada de cargar todo lo
Que (ya) no me vale na’ na’
(Hoy quiero) Dejar el pasado en el pasado, parar de mirar hacia atrás
Que ya ‘toy tan cansada de cargar todo lo
Que (ya) no me vale na’ na’
No me vale na
4. Detrás De La Cortina
(Angélica hablando) as somebody who struggled with that sense of belonging my whole life, I think… that continues to be something I ask myself… like, what are my motivations right now? and is me fitting actually the healthiest thing for me… and is that … honoring myself? is that me honoring myself? and exploring, like, what are the ways that I try to portray myself… and why?
(Cameron)
If I woke up one day and saw myself how you saw me,
You would prolly call me (——), you would prolly not be with me,
You would prolly knock me out, you would prolly want me dead,
Say I got the biggest head, if I wasn’t unconfident
You would want nothing to do with me,
Do you think that is humanly possible to be confident,
When you truly think everyone’s humoring your dreams
And what you’re pursuing because of what you go through and your view of things
I been ruining my good time for a long time
Been a long time since I had time,
To remember when was the last time
That I wasn’t thinking bout the bad times,
I’m the bad guy in my movie dude, I’m the monster that they unmask,
But I’m Fred, Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby Doo, and I’m Velma without her glasses,
All of’m part of my brain at the same time
All in the same mind
All of’m change’n the way that I think day to day and I can’t get break, in the meantime, imma just
Wait to see how this ends, wait until the curtain close so I can stop projecting
(Angélica)
¿Qué hay detrás de la cortina? … aaaah…..
(AC)
Capea enrola prende esta meditación lunar
El humo sube y como danza me pone a pensar
Se adentra al alma y con el sueño empieza a navegar
Falta dinero pero lo que hay siempre hay demás
Tengo a mis anormarles que por mi se mueren
Los rezos de la vieja por eso Dios me protege (amén)
Lo tengo to’ y eso no evita que me queje
Ahora te quiero y horita quiere que te alejes
Y es que, si yo me viera con los ojos que miras tú
Entendería por que lo celos y la actitud
Me amas y me odia que ironía esas la cruz
La cargas o las tiras, ma, decides tú
De vuelta sueño le metemos doble turno
Introvertido trabajando los nocturno
Que no me amas como soy yo no te juzgo
Deja te apunto la salida es lo justo, ciao
(Angélica)
¿Qué hay detrás de la cortina? aaaah…..
¿Qué hay detrás de la cortina? aaaah…..
5. Semillas
el invierno fue largo, aún así estoy en flor
sigo manifestando to’ lo que quiero
dejando que todo venga, y que me lleve lejos
estoy creando mi camino a mi tiempo
inventando la vía como la siento
y sigo cultivando todas mis semillas
oliendo todas las rosas, que no tengo prisa
estoy creando mi camino a mi tiempo
inventando la vía como la siento
sigo a mi ritmo, estoy en mi sitio
no necesito más
sigo a mi ritmo, tranquila voy llegando
sigo a mi ritmo, estoy en mi sitio
no necesito más
seguiré gozando el paseo
sigo manifestando to’ lo que quiero
dejando que todo venga, y que me lleve lejos
estoy creando mi camino a mi tiempo
inventando la vía como la siento
y sigo cultivando todas mis semillas
oliendo todas las rosas, que no tengo prisa
estoy creando mi camino a mi tiempo
inventando la vía como la siento
sigo a mi ritmo, estoy en mi sitio
no necesito más
sigo a mi ritmo, tranquila voy llegando
sigo a mi ritmo, estoy en mi sitio
no necesito más
seguiré gozando el paseo
Sigo y sigo y sigo (x3)
A lo mío, siempre a lo mío yeah
6. Como Tú Me Ves
Tus ojos me dan vida cada vez que tú me miras
Mi alma se desnuda y parezco iluminar
No hay nada que me falta aquí sentada frente a ti
Imagino quién sería si pudiera verme a mí
Como tú me ves, como tú me ves
Quiero verme como tú me ves
Como tú me ves, como tú me ves
Quiero verme como tú, como tú me ves
Tus ojos me dan vida cada vez que tú me miras
Me encuentro en tu espejo y empiezo a alucinar
Desaparecen mis defectos mis complejos se convierten en brillo
Que lo mejor de mí nace cuando en tus ojos me miro
Como tú me ves, como tú me ves
Quiero verme como tú me ves
Como tú me ves, como tú me ves
Quiero verme como tú, como tú me ves
Tus ojos me dan vida cada vez que tú me miras
7. Mío
mi cuerpo es mío
mi tiempo es mío
lo que pienso es mío
mis labios son míos
mis pasos son míos
lo que hago es mío
mi verso es mío
mi peso es mío
lo que siento es mío
todo mío, todo mío
Mi piel
Mis senos
Mis huesos
Mi ser
Mis defectos
Mis sueños
Mi vaivén
Mi pena
Mi fuerza
¿No ves?
Q todo lo mío es sólo mío
Por fin reconocí
Que no existo pa’ complacerle a nadie más que a mí
Yo voy a elegir
Cómo me visto
Lo que yo digo
A quién yo quiero
No necesito ningún permiso
Y no lo voy a pedir
Yo lo decido
Q Yo soy mía
Y mi mundo es mío
mi cuerpo es mío
mi tiempo es mío
lo que pienso es mío
mis labios son míos
mis pasos son míos
lo que hago es mío
mi verso es mío
mi peso es mío
lo que siento es mío
todo mío, todo mío
Mis deseos y lamentos
Mi poder
Mis complejos y vicios
Mi placer
Lo que temo
Lo que amo
¿No lo ves??
Que todo lo mío es solo mío
Por fin reconocí
Q no existo pa complacerle a nadie más que a mí
Yo voy a elegir
Cómo me visto
Lo que yo digo
A quién yo quiero
No necesito ningún permiso
Y no lo voy a pedir
Yo lo decido
Q Yo soy mía
Y mi mundo es mío
mi cuerpo es mío
mi tiempo es mío
lo que pienso es mío
mis labios son míos
mis pasos son míos
lo que hago es mío
mi verso es mío
mi peso es mío
lo que siento es mío
todo mío, todo mío
8. Sueño Fugaz
un cielo ámbar cae sobre la orilla
dos almas respiran
igual que la primera vez
no puedo dejar
que esta noche el tiempo se nos vuele
como un sueño fugaz
tócame
quiero aprender de memoria
cada latido, yeah
tómame
que te tardes una eternidad
Dime que nunca te irás
Dime que nunca me vas a herir,
no me vas a olvidar
Dime que nunca te irás
Dime que nunca me vas a herir,
no me vas a olvidar
Dime que nunca te irás
9. Volviendo A Casa
(Megz)
2. I Am A Work Of Art
When will you realize that I’m not so simple?
You know I don’t fit in that box
I have infinite parts, hundreds of layers, 1000 colors, baby
I won’t make myself small to be what you feel is right
(Look at me closely)
I am a work of art
More than skin and bone, More than an image
(What do you see?)
You can’t mold me, no
I have too many dimensions
When will you realize that I’m not so simple?
You know I don’t fit in that box
My style is inimitable
Whether you love me or hate me, baby
I won’t deny my essence to prove my worth
(Look at me closely)
I am a work of art
More than skin and bone, More than an image
(What do you see?)
You can’t mold me, no
I have too many dimensions
Look at me, Look closely
What do you see?
I’m more than skin and bone
That old role, I left it behind
Cause I’m not a wall - I’m a work of art
I have too much rhythm for your algorithm
I’m too grown to ask for permission
I have desire, I have bars, and something to say, whoa
God didn’t give me this voice so I’d stay quiet, boy
Don’t call me your baby, I’m too much woman for that
Don’t tell me to choose a part of myself
I’m going to take up all my space, so start getting used to it
Not everything fits inside of your little square painting
3. It Doesn’t Serve Me
Today I want to
Leave the past in the past, stop looking behind me
Cause I’m so tired of carrying all the things
That don’t serve me anymore, that don’t serve me at all
I still have the remnants of the battles I’ve lost
It feels impossible to run with so much weight on me
And leave the past in the past, stop looking behind me
Cause I’m so tired of carrying all the things
That don’t serve me anymore
That don’t serve me, don’t serve me at all
I was what I was
And though I can’t repeat, I can continue…
Return to myself once more
And leave the past in the past, stop looking behind me
Cause I’m so tired of carrying all the things
That don’t serve me anymore
(Today I want to) leave the past in the past, stop looking behind me
Cause I’m so tired of carrying all the things
That don’t serve me anymore
It doesn’t serve me anymore
4. Behind The Curtain
(Angélica spoken) as somebody who struggled with that sense of belonging my whole life, I think… that continues to be something I ask myself… like, what are my motivations right now? and is me fitting actually the healthiest thing for me… and is that … honoring myself? is that me honoring myself? and exploring, like, what are the ways that I try to portray myself… and why?
(Cameron)
If I woke up one day and saw myself how you saw me,
You would prolly call me (——), you would prolly not be with me,
You would prolly knock me out, you would prolly want me dead,
Say I got the biggest head, if I wasn’t unconfident
You would want nothing to do with me,
Do you think that is humanly possible to be confident,
When you truly think everyone’s humoring your dreams
And what you’re pursuing because of what you go through and your view of things
I been ruining my good time for a long time
Been a long time since I had time,
To remember when was the last time
That I wasn’t thinking bout the bad times,
I’m the bad guy in my movie dude, I’m the monster that they unmask,
But I’m Fred, Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby Doo, and I’m Velma without her glasses,
All of’m part of my brain at the same time
All in the same mind
All of’m change’n the way that I think day to day and I can’t get break, in the meantime, imma just
Wait to see how this ends, wait until the curtain close so I can stop projecting
(Angélica)
What is there behind the curtain?.... ahhhhh
(AC)
Crutch, roll, light, ignites this lunar meditation
The smoke rises and like a dance, it makes me think
It enters the soul and starts to navigate a dream
Money’s lacking, but what there is, there is always plenty of
I have my crew of weirdos who’d die for me
My old lady’s prayers, that’s why God protects me (amen)
I have everything, but that doesn’t stop me from complaining
One second I want you, the other I want distance
And the thing is, if I saw myself through your eyes
I’d understand all the jealousy and attitude
You love me and you hate me, how ironic is that cross
Load it or shoot it, ma, you decide
Back to the dream, putting in that double shift
Introvert, working nights
If you don’t love me as I am, I won’t judge you
Let me point you to the exit, it’s only fair, ciao
(Angélica)
What is behind the curtain? ….. Ahhhhhh
What is behind the curtain? ….. Ahhhhhh
5. Seeds
Winter was long; even so, I’m in bloom
I keep manifesting everything I desire
Letting everything flow to me and take me far
I’m creating my path on my own time
I’m letting my emotions guide me
And I keep watering all of my seeds
Stopping to smell all the roses, cause I’m in no hurry
I’m creating my path on my own time
I’m letting my emotions guide me
I keep going, at my rhythm, I’m in my place
I don’t need anything more
I keep going at my rhythm, at ease, I’m getting there
I keep going at my rhythm, I’m in my place
I don’t need more
I’m gonna keep enjoying the journey
I keep manifesting everything I desire
Letting everything flow to me and take me far
I’m creating my path on my own time
I’m letting my emotions guide me
And I keep watering all of my seeds
Stopping to smell all the roses, cause I’m in no hurry
I’m creating my path on my own time
I’m letting my emotions guide me
I keep going, at my rhythm, I’m in my place
I don’t need anything more
I keep going at my rhythm, at ease, I’m getting there
I keep going at my rhythm, I’m in my place
I don’t need more
I’m gonna keep enjoying the journey
I keep going and going and going x3
My way, always my way, yeah
6. The Way You See Me
Your eyes give me life every time you look at me
My soul strips bare and I look as if I’m illuminated
I lack nothing here seated in front of you
I imagine who I’d be if I could see myself
The way you see me, the way you see me
I want to see myself the way you see me
The way you see me, the way you see me
I want to see myself the way you, the way you see me
Your eyes give me life every time you look at me
I find myself in your mirror and I begin to hallucinate
My defects disappear, my insecurities become brilliance/shine
Cause the best of me is born when I see myself in your eyes
The way you see me, the way you see me
I want to see myself the way you see me
The way you see me, the way you see me
I want to see myself the way you see me
Your eyes give me life every time you look at me
7. Mine
My body is mine
My time is mine
What I think is mine
My lips are mine
My steps are mine
What I do is mine
My poetry is mine
My weight is mine
What I feel is mine
All mine, all mine
My skin,
My breasts
My bones
My being,
My flaws
My dreams
My comings and goings/movements,
My pain
My strength
Don’t you see
That what is mine is only mine
I finally recognized
I don’t exist to please anyone but myself
I will choose
How I dress
What I say
Who I love
I don’t need any kind of permission
And won’t ask for it
I decide
Because I am mine
And my world is mine
My body is mine
My time is mine
What I think is mine
My lips are mine
My steps are mine
What I do is mine
My poetry is mine
My weight is mine
What I feel is mine
All mine, all mine
My desires and regrets
My power
My complexes and vices
My pleasure
What I fear
What I love
Don’t you see
That what is mine is only mine
I finally recognized
I don’t exist to please anyone but myself
I will choose
How I dress
What I say
Who I love
I don’t need any kind of permission
And won’t ask for it
I decide
Because I am mine
And my world is mine
My body is mine
My time is mine
What I think is mine
My lips are mine
My steps are mine
What I do is mine
My poetry is mine
My weight is mine
What I feel is mine
All mine, all mine
8. Fleeting Dream
An amber sky falls on the shore
two souls breathe together
just like the first time
Tonight
I can’t let the time fly past us
Like a fleeting dream
Touch me,
I want to memorize
every heartbeat, yeah
Take me
May it take you an eternity
Tell me that you’ll never leave
Tell me that you’ll never hurt me
Never forget me
Tell me that you’ll never leave
Tell me that you’ll never hurt me
Never forget me
Tell me that you’ll never leave
9. Comin’ Back To Home
(Megz)
We walking the same world on different paths
Given different chances, we adding with different math and
Playing the gamble, tryna make more outta what we had
And don't it change fast, your life in somebody hands
We still ghetto fabulous for you, passing you this magic
This life don't find me tragic, we raising and clinking glasses
To this movement we advancing
It's a movie playing faster than the writer scripts the actor
We was young dreamers, turned poets, turned rappers
And all of us ain't make it from the corner, disenfranchised
Rhythm in my gut, it's feeling like a past life
And all that failure feeling like some older past time
When I was 9, professing on beats off the land line
Penning to the page, yeah it's go and get your cash time
Put it on a tape just to erase all that I can't find
Lost and found peace in me, they tryna have mine
They gon keep they hands out and ima keep my hands high
(oooh comin back….) Deep inside we always comin’ back to home
(oooh comin back….) Deep inside we always comin’ back to home
Deep inside we always comin’ back to home
Every bass line slow and kick we feel it in the floor
Every hook every verse painting a picture in your soul
It's a light turned brighter than every sun with a glow
And all that glitters was gold
Where I'm front and where I go
And everybody's home, see the people that you chose
If you ever feel dark it's light inside this growth
We ain't always have it all, but inside we have the most
Deep inside we always comin’ back to home
Every bass line slow and kick we feel it in the floor
Every hook every verse painting a picture in your soul
It's a light turned brighter than every sun with a glow
And all that glitters was gold
Where I'm front and where I go
And everybody's home, see the people that you chose
If you ever feel dark it's light inside this growth
We ain't always have it all, but inside we have the most
Deep inside we always comin’ back to home
Deep inside we always comin’ back